You belong with me...?

"But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts,
She's Cheer Captain and I'm in the bleachers,
Dreaming about the day that you wake up and find,
that what you're looking for has been here the whole time..."

There are some things that we put away, in the back of our minds, forgetting about them so they can't hurt us. Now, it doesn't make sense to me why I would go and relive how I felt. I mean, I had forgotten about how I couldn't eat, or sleep or even breathe normally for months. It was something I suppressed and for good reason too. My subconscious knew that this is what would happen, wasted tears and unnecessary wounds. I didn't think it would hurt like that, I thought 4 years was long enough to keep the hurt at bay. Things have changed, sure, but that hurt, that experience is still very much a part of me. I don't resent anything that happened, everybody makes mistakes, and I can't forgive one of you without forgiving the other. So here we are, three or six of us, it doesn't matter. These things are never undone.

It sort of occurred to me that all the love stories that end well, are usually fictitious. I mean, does love even exist, or is it just an illusion. I'd love to believe in destiny and fate and true love, but they seem like nothings to me. I know love. Love of my family, love of life, of nature, of literature, but I'd more easily class them as bonds or passions. None of which are romantic.

I went and saw a monologue with Em last night, and I was pretty damn blown away. It was just incredible. Believable. I had the best time, thanks, Em. And please don't forget our plans! They are going to be gold. Theatre folk, we are.

Butterflies in my stomach? No, wait, that's just being hungry because it's late at night. I really should finish cleaning my room then go to bed. I've been staying up too late this week, and doing no homework.

Whoops.